Appalachians are a diverse, rural minority who, due to limited resources, often communicate symbolically using found items.

So, I found this cute little bear (see pic -->) abandoned in a thrift store. He’s a music box, but he played so slowly that the tune could not be identified. No helpful stickers or stamps on the bottom, either.

Bought him anyway ‘cause he’s loveable & tinkered with him ‘til he was playing faster, (but not really fixed), enough to identify the tune. Recognized the song, an old one from childhood, but couldn’t remember the words or even the name. Drove me nuts. Slept on it. Woke up. Remembered. Cried like a baby.

So, here’s one for Ukraine.

It’s the theme from the Broadway musical, “Carnival” composed by Bob Merrill, 1961.
Listen below:

The lyrics:

“Love Makes The World Go ‘Round”

Somebody soon will love you
If no-one loves you now

High in some silent sky
Love sings a silver song
Making the earth whirl softly
Love makes the world go ‘round

High in some silent sky
Love sings a silver song
Making the earth whirl softly
Love makes the world go ‘round

(end)

So, fix it please, dear Daddy/God.
Please, please fix the broken bear so that it can make music again,
instead of noise.
No one down here, knows how.

With the Rittenhouse trial nearing its end & a nation braced for a continuation of the lawlessness & mayhem of 2020 if some don’t like the outcome, it’s time that someone proposes some alternatives to chaos.

Naively I must confess, I expected some leadership in this area. I truly believed that someone like Ghandi, Martin Luther King, or Nelson Mandela, would arise unknown, from the masses & speak some sense to us all. But no, instead, many of our elected “leaders” continue to sanction the violence, encourage it, excuse it, or ignore it, & scapegoat others for their failures to lead. So, an unknown, Appalachian grandma will step up to the plate & list effective alternatives to violence for those who never watched Mister Roger’s or internalized the golden rule.

What follows is a list of alternatives to violence. They have been developed over years & used successfully by creative Americans who refused to choose hatred & discord, & who, in spite of the pain & anger of their circumstances, developed novel & effective ways to highlight their issues & effectively promote change.

You may be surprised by how many there are, & remember, they all were/are used in the USA & successful at raising awareness of issues, voicing discontent, resolving conflict, improving understanding & creating peaceful communities. But one misses the positive stuff when focused only upon mistakes & failures & apparently, many of us have forgotten what really does work.

The non-violent options are alphabetized so that for this purpose, all are equal. But that’s not quite true. Their importance grows or diminishes based upon the meaning free peoples attach to them as they struggle to reconcile changes in their lives. Some are written as verbs, or action words. Others are written as nouns, but no matter the form, all have been used to foster peace & build communities. So here they are; consider.

• A: advertising, articles, auctions, adoptions, art shows, accept, animals, animal rescues, awards, admit, acknowledge, assessments
• B: books, billboards, blogs, bike-a-thons, bike fairs, Bible reading, bonuses, building restorations, building (senior centers, play-grounds, etc.), Bake-offs/sales, beauty, bulb sales, beginning, breathe, balloons, bolster, bowling
• C: concerts, coupons, “clean-up” campaigns, cleaning, cooking contests, celebrations, count downs, cruises , cards, community gardens, compassion, contentment, charity, communal tasks, church, count to 10, consider, create, cartoons, comic books, coffee mugs
• D: dances, dance a thons, dance contests, discussion, debate, dinners, donations, dedications, drawings (for prizes); drives (paper, rubber, aluminum, etc.), disaster relief, draw(sketches, pictures, etc.)
• E: evaluate, email, explain, examine, encourage, empathize, elucidate, educate
• F: fund raisers, films, fairy tales, fables, food events, festivals, fairs, face time, faith, flash mobs, forgive;
• G: Go-fund-me, giveaways, game-a-thons, gardening, ground breaking events, gratitude, graciousness, gentleness, golf scrambles
• H: health days, fairs, programs; holy cards, hike-a- thons, hand bills, hats, heroes (be one)
• I: intelligent thought, instruction, images, investigation, imagination, include, invite, inflatables (like those air-dancing, tall men)
• J: journeys, joy
• K: keep the peace, knowledge, knock on doors, know your neighbor, kindness
• L: letters, listen (to music, others), launch, laugh
• M: meetings, movies, make music, music festivals, meditations, moments of silence, mass mailings, monuments, memorials
• N: newspapers, notifications, non-profits, novels
• O: Openings, open houses, online education
• P: Podcasts, prayer meetings, pamphlets, photos, pilgrimages, poems, posters, plant sales, pets, paint, plays, performances, presentations, pictures, publicity, public readings (of documents, lists of names, etc.)
• Q: quiet, questionnaires/question, quilting, queries
• R: reenactment, radio, raffles, “roasts”, readings, read-a-thons, rallies, recovery, reflections
• S: shop with a cop, sky writing, spam, songs, song writing, singing, speaking, studying, signage, social media, surveys, scholarships, share, swim, short stories, story-telling, satire, speeches, sports, sandwich sign boards
• T: touch a truck day, television, text, tweet, telephone, talk it out, teach, tabulation, test, testimonials, T-shirts
• U: utilize, understand
• V: videos, visitations/visiting, volunteering, vote
• W: website, walk-a-thons, writing, walking a mile in another’s shoes/moccasins
• X: X-rays? (They communicate, don’t they? They show what’s really inside & they clarify situations)
• Y: yodel, Youtube
• Z: zebra back sandwich sign boards, (yah, this one’s a stretch, but my neighbor has a zebra); zoom meetings

I’m sure I’ve missed some, but these should remind people that too much tecno-crap can be bad for your brain & encourage you to forget the obvious. An interesting note, many of the more unusual (sky writing, sandwich signs,) have been used for romantic marriage proposals & emphatic, personal reconciliations.

But most of these are familiar & have been used to raise awareness of issues, generate solutions, fund raise & build peaceful communities, ( except the zebra & x-rays). So why in 2020 did we forget them???? And why was forgetting time tested techniques for peace keeping “OK”?

This is serious, people, because when a nation’s leaders refuse to encourage & support peaceful alternatives to violence, then the nation is surely on the path to war. For war is the ultimate refusal, a rejection of the peace that enables everything else. By choosing hatred & violence, personal growth & the development of human potential are sacrificed in favor of global temper tantrums & wasteful, stupid destruction.

The greatest threat to the environment is war. We can’t control the weather, comets, asteroids, moons, tides, or ice ages, but it is within our abilities to avoid war, at least at this time & for the current professed issues.

So, if you’re pissed off about something, choose; From a 78+++ list of positive, constructive communication options that foster peaceful communities & personal growth, & engage in behaviors that people will appreciate & admire you as intelligent, or destroy with hateful violence & publicly appear like an immature moron? Which of those places do you call home?

Peace from Appalachia, Grandma LJ

We could, but we don’t, because beneficial behavior is much more difficult. It is easy to loot, burn and destroy. It does not take skill, intelligence or anything worthwhile, to riot and throw a communal temper tantrum. But it Is very difficult, and requires skill, intelligence, foresight and patience to build or rebuild a community. As well as a little something called “leadership” which is in very short supply right now.

Just recall how quickly our nation disintegrated into chaos, riots and violence in 2020, and watch how long it will take to rebuild infrastructure, restore public trust in a variety of systems, and return to any semblance of peace while retaining the prior levels of freedom for all we once enjoyed.

It is easy to become negative, destructive, or apathetic. Goodness, productive activity and optimism take some work. In nature, inactive creatures soon die. If we’re inactive, we die too, but more slowly, with addictions, obesity, violent lifestyles, and suicide. True life means growth. We were meant to grow and develop skills, our talents and abilities.

The behaviors requested in AOA are not easy, but they are freely chosen. That means people can use the different opposite acts to express themselves in unique and non-violent ways. The categories enable this by the following:

1. They provide structure and a framework that encourages the positive actions to occur. By converting an abstract desire to do good, into specific, achievable goals, the categories increase the likelihood that the actions will actually occur. Being “good”, “kind”, or even “better” are too abstract for anyone to achieve. Instead, the categories set general voluntary limits that YOU define specifically, allowing you to set your own pace within the time, talent and treasure limits that bounder your life. You may even decide to challenge or modify those boundaries as you realize that growth is possible and many challenges in life that appear insurmountable, can be successfully overcome.
2. The categories enable you to select those aspects of personhood which are priorities for your personal development. For example, addiction recovery is a frequent priority, because people with active addictions have impairments in all areas of life. One is, they are unable to be honest with themselves and others. The effectiveness of AOA strategies depend upon an honest assessment of self. Addiction recovery then becomes a priority for individuals challenged by addictions. If disorganization is preventing you from achieving employment, academic or other personal goals, then acts of order may be a priority.
3. The elders reported that with the passage of time, memories are retained in clusters rather than single incidents. For example, when one is 10 years old, one can recall the specifics of 6 or maybe 8 birthdays. But how many do you remember at 40, 50, or 65? Could you accurately describe even half of them? Most people cannot. Instead, they categorize them, and remember the best, the worst and their general, overall experience of birthdays. In the western hemisphere, December birthdays are frequently forgotten, overlooked, or combined with holiday activities, while July birthdays are frequently swimming, lake or pool parties. This tendency for humans to categorize is true for everything and is the way our brains organize data. The specific goals of AOA provide a concrete way to assess your progress and enable you to remember it. If you plan to perform 3 acts of hope each week for 3 years, by planting trees for a reforestation program, you can calculate exactly how many trees you have planted, and so enjoy a hands-on, take-it-to-the-bank, no debate achievement in an area of life that you value highly. The congruency between our values and our achievements is a large factor in end-of-life satisfaction, Appalachian elders reported.
4. AOA creates categories for the things you value yet may take for granted. For example, you state that the environment is important to you. But do your actions reflect this value? If you are performing opposite acts that protect the environment, and experiencing the consequences of those efforts, then you will KNOW you have been living out your values and beliefs. If you remain honest while working this program your acts and contributions will reflect your unique interests, skills, talents, resources and life experience. This creates a legacy and a body of work by which others will remember you; an honorable life work for anyone.

Please support the local, small business owners who have invested their time, treasure and talent into their businesses and communities. They serve as accessible, role models for others who dream of owning their own businesses. They are available to help in times of crisis. They do not deserve the abuse they have received in recent months.

Don’t be tempted to envy them, for though they may be living their dream, they have been going through hell. They have been swamped with a multitude of COVID regulations, staffing concerns, civil unrest, and a changing economy, in addition to all the shortages and other COVID issues we all face each day.

Quarantine has decreased revenues for brick and mortar stores, while expenses for masks, partitions, disinfectant and cleaning products have gone up. And some have been accused of lying about the availability of stock or hoarding or hiding stock or supplies, when they have only been using the usual amount they need to run their businesses.

The small businesses in your communities have broken ground for a small business climate to exist in your area. That is not easy. It is a combination of intangible things: passion for an idea, service or product, a vision for the community, a willingness to train and employ others, and a willingness to take risks and invest. Their confidence is infectious and encourages others to take a risk. This way, the community grows.

But try to “revitalize” an area that has been destroyed. Not fun. You must convince others who see only a pile of rubble, that there is still a hope, a purpose and a future for the community. You must still have the magic formula above, but now must make it work with stark failure staring you in the face. Appalachia is full of small towns, once thriving with stores and their own movie theaters, now reduced, if lucky, to a gas pump and half of a post office.

It is worth the effort and the extra cost of preserving local businesses. It is always easy to destroy, but very difficult to build, and they have laid the groundwork for growth. Keep them alive, and by doing so, they will already be established when gas prices rise and one becomes reluctant or unable to drive.

Finally, don’t forget all of those who supplement their incomes with in-home businesses, including artists, crafters, seamstresses, secondary sales, mechanics, handy folks, childcare providers, pet groomers, etc. These folks may be in varying stages of decline due to an inability to comply with COVID regs other restrictions, political and otherwise placed on our economy.

Support them by:

• Buying product, goods, produce/food, and services locally
• When available and possible, hire local musicians, high school band members, or talented folks, to provide the entertainment for COVID compliant gatherings; (many schools remain closed and teens would welcome a chance to practice with their friends).
• Encouraging others to buy/support local
• Consider local foods and products for gifting to others

Thank you for caring and for taking the precious time of your lives, to read this. Peace!

I knew someone who did forgive her Mom for beatings,
But only after once she came to understand
The Flu of 1918, the deaths of her great-grandparents,
and life of lonely girl-child Grandma in an orphanage too full…

I knew a woman once, who only did forgive her husband,
Dead on that December 7th, Sunday at Pearl Harbor,
because a true friend said, “But Alma he died for our country”.
50 years too late, then and only then she cried.

And yet another, memorized the photo of a tiny tot,
Unable to forgive herself for false things, undone,
And so she studied ‘til at last she knew the face,
And finally understood she could be loved.

For each of these there was a point of understanding
Where compassion touched and stayed and grew forgiveness.
And fact, for all our time is short and we must die,
And no one really wants to change to rich, brown earth,

And may that be the tragic, common ground we seek
To know and grow compassion,
That we might yet extend the hand of peace
to all, and mercy?

Peace and mercy,

from Appalachia,
and Grandma Geese

Historically, it has always been a danger sign when people play with language and spontaneously change the meaning of words. Why? Because it creates the fog of war.

When the meanings of words change at the whim of a special interest group or grandiose media pundit, confusion results. Instead of common ground we all can agree upon, even the words we use to restore peace, become controversial. How then can constructive discussion occur? How then can grievances be aired so they are understood? How can apologies be rendered, forgiveness extended, and reconciliation happen when words have random and arbitrary meanings? How can people grow and move on?

Effective, accurate communication eventually becomes impossible.

In recent years there have been many attempts to change English vocabulary, and people speedily pounce on ignorance or innocent misspeaks to justify their outrage. We cannot address all of these here. But we will address “peaceful”.

When we started this program over 20 years ago, there was one clear and certain meaning for the word “peaceful”. Webster’s dictionary defined it as: “exempt from war, riot, or commotion; undisturbed;” At that time people agreed with this. There was no confusion about the meaning.

In 2020 a confusing shift in common usage occurred, when harmful, violent, riots resulting in at least 25 deaths, hundreds of injuries, destruction of sacred spaces, monuments and historical sites, with property damage of over 1 billion dollars, were consistently described in news and media reports, and by governors and politicians as “peaceful protests.” Some media outlets prohibited their employees from using the word “riot” to describe the indiscriminate looting, burning and violence that most rational people would call a riot. The new meaning of “peaceful” has been widely disseminated and is the exact opposite of the old meaning.

As a result of this arbitrary usage, much confusion now surrounds the word, which was chosen as one of the action categories for Opposite Action. The new definition of “peaceful” is the opposite of the definition used when OA/AOA was developed. Lest it go the way of “love”, the opposite action definition of “peaceful”, and our use of the word is clarified here.

We have no direct or indirect intention to offend, alienate, “cancel”, (case in point) or insult anyone. But the assault on the word “peaceful”, affects our work here.

War is conflict, the violent political unrest between two nations, states or parties producing chaos, civil unrest, confusion, lies, property destruction, interruption of peaceful pursuits, death and harm to human and animal life, destruction of natural and man-made environments. Peace is the opposite of war.

The Opposite Act of peace is one of twelve opposite act categories in the AOA/OA program.

“Peace” is defined by Webster’s as:” a state of quiet or tranquility; freedom from disturbance or agitation; calm repose; General order and tranquility, freedom from riot or violence; …Spiritual content.” “Peaceful” is defined as previously stated.

For OA/AOA purposes, the Webster’s dictionary definitions are used in this program.

OPPOSITE ACTION ACTS, TASKS, PRODUCTS, WORKS OF ANY KIND, VERBAL, PICTORIAL OR SUBSTANTIAL, ARE NON-VIOLENT and NEVER TO BE USED FOR VIOLENT, DISCORDANT, DESTRUCTIVE PURPOSES. OPPOSITE ACTION IS A PROGRAM TO PROMOTE PEACE and SO PROVIDE SAFE PLACES FOR HUMAN GROWTH and DEVELOPMENT OF SKILLS, TALENTS and POTENTIAL.

Additional clarification is as follows:

For AOA/OA purposes and according to Webster’s dictionary, “Peaceful” means “Exempt from war, riot or commotion; undisturbed. Averse to strife;”

For additional clarity, we continue with: “AOA/OA ‘peaceful’ means: Non-violent, or without destructive harm to persons, pets, service animals, places, landscaping, trees, gardens, parks, cemeteries; flags, meaningful religious, cultural, organizational or group signs or symbols; cars, trucks, planes, equipment damaged or sabotaged to cause personal harm; businesses, monuments, statues, places of worship, public or government buildings.

AOA “peaceful” means no destruction, looting or theft of private, personal or government property. Also, not “peaceful” for AOA/OA purposes is hindering or threatening first responders, fire control and rescue personnel or persons whose occupation is that of restoring peace; impairing or preventing them from doing their jobs, impairing evacuations or the flight of others from a scene of violence or pending violence, uses of any materials or items to prevent rescue of persons or delay exit from buildings, uses of accelerants, both verbal and chemical, to exacerbate the discord and destruction.

Also considered not “peaceful” by AOA/OA is “hate” speech willfully intended to incite violence, destroy someone’s business or reputation, slander, or “cancel”, and bullying or threats designed to terrorize and intimidate. None of these actions are “peaceful.”

Since all of these things cause personal harm, none of them are “peaceful”.

No matter what someone’s words say about their behavior, whether voiced by perpetrator or media pundit, look at the pictures, (but with photoshop even pictures can lie), and CONSIDER THE END RESULTS. A new definition and understanding of the word “peaceful” is in play, promoted by news agencies and the internet, and it is possible that many have embraced this new definition. But we have not. VIOLENCE IS UNACCEPTABLE AS A MEANS FOR PROMOTING SOCIAL CHANGE, AT ANY TIME FOR ANY REASON!

If as the END result of someone’s behavior, people are crying, cars and buildings are burning, people have been injured, attacked or killed, if looting or theft has occurred, if buildings have been forcibly entered without the owner’s consent, or the wanton destruction of property, homes, monuments, statues or churches, has occurred, those are not “peaceful” actions. If an action mimics in any way acts of bullying, war, terrorism and violence then it is NOT an Opposite Action as described and promoted by this program. THIS IS A NON-VIOLENT PROGRAM! If first responders are on the scene trying to help, that’s a program “good”, and might be an act of courage or comfort.

Bottom line, ask “Is this how I would want myself, my family and friends to be treated?” If the answer is “no”, then most likely the action is not “peaceful” by AOA/OA standards.

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate this day, Jan. 6th.

It reminds me of the stories told to me by Appalachian elders about the onset of WWII.

They said the warning signs were there, if you wanted to see them. But trusting to 20-year memories of WWI, and the highly celebrated league of Nations, no one wanted to admit that “the war to end all wars” though won, had failed to keep the peace.

So, according to the elders, Pearl Harbor was an unpleasant, catastrophic, surprise. It was quickly followed with defeats at Bataan, Corregidor, and then Mac Arthur’s departure from the Philippines, no doubt to that point, the darkest days in American history.

As it happened, the Pearl Harbor attack occurred on December 7th, 1941, the onset of a new decade. People later learned that the date was chosen specifically by the Japanese because it was a Sunday and an attack on a holiday would be especially confusing and demoralizing.

In the 1940’s, most Appalachians were Judeo-Christian, and so honored the Sabbath, usually celebrated on Sunday. Many unchurched believers also followed Sabbath customs. Originating with the Biblical 10 commandments, the ancient tradition set aside one day of the week for rest and worship of God. People engaged in personal prayer, scripture readings, or church/Mass attendance if clergy were available. Works of mercy, dispute mediation, and emergency dentistry/medical care, visiting the homebound sick and the basic care needed for animals, were excepted tasks. Hospitality was offered freely to strangers, and the children were taught these basics of charity in homes throughout the region, both in the north and south.

Appalachian elders described the events of Pearl Harbor based upon how old they were when it occurred. Children’s perceptions and so their memories, tend to be different from adults(See pictures following post). And it is through the eyes of children that the most unexpected and poignant stories resulted.

Adults recalled in detail their feelings, what they were doing and how they reacted. Because it was winter, most were indoors, resting, reading or enjoying Sunday’s midday meal when they heard the news on a radio or from visiting family and friends. The powerless people could do nothing.

Adults described the time as horrifying, confused and shocking, as they tried to make sense of the attacks. Then they described a strong, deep compulsion or need to “do something”, and so they began to perform a task. Men tended to choose outdoor tasks, that involved heavy physical activity yet produced something for the home and family. These included chopping or bringing in firewood, splitting rails or working on fence repair, cutting down trees or clearing brush, or going hunting or fishing for food.

Women also chose traditional family tasks with a physical component that included, baking bread, ironing clothes, scrubbing the floor and beating rugs with a rug beater. Many, both men and women, reported praying while they worked. Others said that only later, after a period of adjustment, were they “ready” to pray.

Adults noticed the delay in prayer but could not fully explain it. They described it as shock, as they gradually realized what a return to world war meant to their friends and family. Some said they had been angry at God, describing the moment variously as, “I love God, and I know what God can do. He could have stopped it all …”; Or: “There were so many good people praying to stop the war…. I just didn’t want to go to Him right then.”

But children observed something else. While everyone remembered it was a Sunday, none of the adults mentioned the fact that in their unprecedented distress, they had broken the Sabbath. Almost without thinking, adults had voluntarily engaged in laborious tasks usually avoided on Sunday. And while people freely acknowledged their choices, it was not in the context of breaking the Sabbath.

The innocent, inexperienced children, unable to understand the concept of war, were disturbed by the unusual behavior of their parents, usually so predictable and consistent. The sudden shattering of Sabbath ritual with its breached security was never forgotten.

Comments like, “I didn’t know what happened or what it meant. But I knew something was terribly wrong because Mom got out the flour and began to bake bread. She did that on Wednesdays or Saturdays, but never on Sunday. And she was crying.” Or “Dad never worked on Sunday. But that Sunday Mr. Weaver came over to talk to Dad and Mom about something. They didn’t want us kids to hear. When Mr. Weaver left, Dad got the ax and went out to chop wood. He never did that before on a Sunday, and I always helped. But he didn’t answer when I called to him. Mom told me not to worry about helping, and just to leave him alone.”

There were so many stories like these, and not just for Pearl Harbor. Bread baking, rug beating, floor scrubbing, wood chopping and fence splitting sustained Appalachian men and women through the tragedies of Titanic disaster, WWI, WWII, the Korean War, the Kennedy and Martin Luther King assassinations, even the Vietnam war. And so many remembered the poignant picture of mothers and grandmothers passionately weeping, their tears falling unheeded, and kneaded into bread dough or ironed into clothing on an ironing board.

These were Americans of all colors, who loved God. They had cared enough about God to teach their children to love God. And no doubt hundreds of others around the world had prayed about the war in Europe and Asia. Why did God ignore the prayers of so many good people and allow the suffering that followed?

Do the children’s eyes perhaps record a moment when people of great faith, crushed by sudden catastrophic tragedy, momentarily forgot God, felt abandoned, and doubted?

And right now, many of us share their feelings and angst, and wonder as they did.

They had no idea how things would turn out. And neither do we. But if they doubted, we know what happened next. They rallied, and somehow, using Faith, determination, common household tasks, and prayer, they stayed strong and fought a war. Ultimately, they managed to save the world from a trio of ruthless and powerful dictators, by treading new ground and embracing the use of a terrifying new technology.

We too face a terrifying new use of a technology capable of creating CG illusions and infinite lies. And that destroys as effectively as an atomic blast, by “cancelling” or rendering impotent, governments, courts, law enforcement, businesses, careers, organizations, communities and people.

Still, we can learn from the Appalachian elders, since both disease and wellness, life and the onset of death, begin on a tiny, almost invisible level. Like hobbits, they are too humble to be deceived by delusions that they are God. Appalachians remain a peaceful, small and tiny people. And so they see.

We already share the elders’ former feelings of confusion, anger at betrayal, and the challenge of detecting lies. But our forays into violence show that we have yet to imitate their positive, functional reactions with meaningful or symbolic activities of our own.

Though few of us bake bread or have wood piles, we can discover, or re-discover those elemental, basic tasks that symbolize and strengthen our health, families, homes, communities and Faith.

Learn how with Opposite Action

The following photos were taken by a child with no direction or urging from anyone: